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Posts Tagged ‘Work’

It has been so long since I have written any posts, that I am sure you all thought you were free of my ramblings. I cannot even believe it is January 2017 – I feel like it was just a couple months ago that I was writing the January 2016 post. I am too scared to even look at what my goals were over the last year, since I am certain I failed at all of them.

I did, however, finish Picture of the Past and got to a book length of Ethrill, even if I didn’t finish it, per se. I am now working on editing PoP, which I have this feeling is going to be a very long process. I can’t believe how much work has to be done on it, just reading back through it! I mean, part of me knew it, but I am struggling to not become overwhelmed now that I am actually reading through and taking notes on what has to be rewritten, what scenes are missing, huge parts that need to be taken out, and most of all, the research I need to do that I strategically skipped while I was writing it so it didn’t bog me down. I can’t decide whether that was a good strategy or not, but I guess I will figure it out as I continue writing. I didn’t get anything published last year, which is rather depressing to think about, so I am not going to dwell on that. Instead I am going to dwell on the thought that I write because I enjoy it, not to become famous or published.

I just got back from a work trip to Cocoa Beach, which was amazing. I loved being next to the ocean in January! And Daniel and I are taking a trip to Florida again next weekend, using the free tickets we got from JetBlue last year after our cancelled flights. So I am pretty delighted. I currently am assigned to exercises in Florida, Colorado, and, as of today, Washington. Oh, and an internal one that I don’t really count. So I am pretty delighted with the load so far, even if it will be busy.

Anyway, that is it for now, since I am back in the office for the first time in a week and there is actual work to be done.

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So, I know that I just turned 28. And I am supposed to be grown up and have it all figured out. Heck, if it was like the movies, I should currently be “the youngest CEO to ever run X company!”. But, it isn’t the movies. And life isn’t really like that. Inside, I still feel like an insecure 16 year old. I find it hard to believe that people look at me and see a grown woman instead of a young girl who is just learning to work in the professional world. I know compared to a lot of people, I am still just learning to work the professional world – but . . .well, I think you know what I am saying. I still have the impulse, when people ask me a question, to pretend I don’t know anything, because I can’t imagine that my input would be anything more than what they already know.

But this post wasn’t meant to go into all of that. What I was going to say, was, I am . . .on my first business trip ever! Okay, so it is only to New Jersey, and only one night, and my main function for the meeting tomorrow will be note-taking. But it doesn’t take away the fact that I get to charge everything, even the hotel and coffee and food, to the company! I feel grown up, and yet, still like a little girl since I am so excited to be on a business trip “just like the girls in those chick flicks!” And next week I am off to Boston!

And no one is allowed to comment and tell me that traveling for work isn’t all that it is cracked up to be, and that it gets old fast! I am allowed to be excited the first few times, until I get tired of it my own self! 🙂

And that is my grown-up moment for tonight.

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Counting Blessings

It is a cold, dreary day outside, and I woke with the depressed feeling of knowing it was time to trudge off to work once more, where I can expect at least four emails telling me what I did wrong this time. In case you didn’t notice, I don’t take criticism very well. I know, I know – it is a part of the job, and a part of making a deliverable client-worthy – but, I still feel like an utter failure if I see so much as one red mark on a comma I forgot. Something I am working through with God. Sometimes I can handle it better than other days. And some days – I just feel like if I am given one more correction, I will just melt into the floor and never return. So, as I sit in my little cubicle, and try to get up the courage and energy to get my day started, when all I really want is to curl up in bed with hot chocolate and book and watch the rain drip down the sill, I began, as I usually do in these moods, ruminating on where I am in life, and why I haven’t found a job I actually like going to yet. I do believe there is a job out there for everyone – something you are made to do, that you actually don’t mind going to – but some days, I wonder how you are ever supposed to find that job?

As I often do, when I am feeling down, I was browsing random quotes in hopes of hitting one that would so exactly fit what I was feeling that I would feel better. Well, I hit this one:

motivational inspirational love life quotes sayings poems poetry pic picture photo image friendship famous quotations proverbs

Aaand – felt convicted. I know it is natural to feel down in the dumps sometimes, or to get emotional or restless, or whatever it is I am getting, but, I also know I have so many blessings in my life that I tend to just skip over when I am down. I know that my first reaction should be to go to God in prayer and ask Him to help me through hard days, but I find myself shying away from that – partially, I think, because a tiny part of me likes being angsty. It does make such better posts, doesn’t it? But, that aside, it HAS been a long time since I have looked at all the blessings I have in my life. So, this is me, trying to be joyful even when I am down, and learning to count my blessings even when I am stuck in a little cubicle doing a job I hate.

Five blessings:

1. That I even HAVE a job.

2. That I have a husband who never loses patience with me even when I am moody, and will hold me without making me talk or buy me flowers and chocolates just to make me feel better.

3. That I have an adorable little apartment to go back to every night.

4. That I have money to visit family for the holidays.

5. That I can see the beautiful world around me, including the rain pouring over the countryside, unlike the poor blind man on the metro today, who still seemed kind and cheerful despite that.

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